Making a Connection

The following information is from business and leadership publications. This information is not disability specific. The cool thing is that it pertains to every person – with or without a disability.

The average person is exposed to 35,000 messages every day. We have to filter the incoming “noise” and decide what to act upon. We act upon messages when we have a connection. The connection comes first – then we communicate. Connection makes it easier to communicate. Think of connection as magic fertilizer for communication. When we connect with a person, we have more influence over that person. We can take the initiative to reach out and connect – in a way that is comfortable to the other person. At that moment, you have to worry more about the other person than yourself.

You can build a toolbox of connection tools and build a connection with another person. Use these connection tricks with co-workers, partners or the people we support.

• Pay attention
• Give time
• Seek feedback
• Ask questions
• Remember their name
• Don’t pretend you know everything
• Care about others
• See a room full of friends
• Connect in person
• Use “we” and “us” instead of “I” and “me”
• Smile
• Go on an adventure together
• Ask open questions
• Be positive
• Find common interests
• Sincerely compliment
• Ask about something that they mentioned before
• Be accepting, open and friendly
• Thank the person
• Make the person feel special

In the world of disabilities, we talk about specific strategies to build engagement and “share attention”. This is another way to build a connection. We can use the environment and our daily activities to engage and connect with the people we support. We can “engage and share attention” throughout the day. This helps build our emotional and social connection.

Here are some strategies that you can use to share attention:

• • Share a pair of earbuds to listen to music together. Talk about what you like.
  • Sit together and share a snack or a coffee break.
  • Reach or something at the same time as another person. Let the connection happen through the object.
  • Sit on a sofa together without any particular task to complete.
  • Find matching socks or silverware. Not as a “task” but for fun.
  • Watch a favorite tv show – together. Make comments and look for comments.

Another tool to connect is the tool of time. Give the person you support time.

• • Time – so they know you value them as a person.
  • Time  – to process what you say and respond.
  • Time – to be together without demands.

Connected communication happens when we are curious about others. It happens when we take time. It happens when we care for others. It happens when we share experiences. It happens when we are listening hard.