People who can’t speak can still understand much of what happens around them. They can tell if you connect with, respect, and like them. Everyone wants to spend time with others who genuinely like them. If a person communicates without words, they might be even more sensitive.
There are some ways that you can convey that you hold someone with high regard. Time magazine says that there are 10 simple ways to get someone to like you.
1. Ask questions.
2. Talk more, not less.
3. Give your time…gratis.
4. Listen better.
5. Really and truly care.
6. Admit it, you don’t know everything.
7. Go for the laugh, every time.
8. Lighten up.
9. Don’t be pushy.
10. Admit your weaknesses.
These ways don’t distinguish between friends, co-workers or those people we support. We want to be likable and be liked.
Everyone gets a gut feeling when someone isn’t being patient with us. We may know by their lack of attention or response. We notice how they speak to us, or how much time they spend on their smartphone. Everyone can read nonverbal signals including the tone of voice and facial expressions.
We know we spend a lot of time directing the people we support. Giving directions is necessary at times. But, directing does not make the person getting directed feel connected. They are less likely to reach out to you and try to communicate. Connecting with others is a basic component of being human. We need to figure out how to like and be liked by the people we support. It is hard to support someone if you don’t like them.
The people we support also need to like us. It is important to build mutual regard with the person you support. Look for and respond to their unique ways of connecting with you. Engage them in conversation, even if they don’t respond by conventional means. Tell jokes, and comment on the world around you. Show an interest in their preferred topics. Look for their unique sense of humor.
By doing so, you build a richer, more connected environment. The people you support benefit, but you benefit as well. When we like people, we open our eyes to learning what they have to teach us. It is part of the job.
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