Creating Chances

How can we purposely create space and time for a person to communicate?
Share space and attention with the person you support. Take an interest in their favorite topics and activities. Respond to their body language and take a turn in the conversation. Here are some strategies you can use to set the stage for communication.

• Wait! – Many of the strategies to encourage more communication involve “waiting”. People often push through a period of silence. We get uncomfortable. We want to fill in the quiet space. If we quietly wait, we provide a possible moment of expression.
• Tempt – Put desired objects visible but out of reach. Use a clear, locked containers for desired objects. Tempt but don’t tease.
• Acknowledge – Someone might communicate a message that you will not honor. For example: “gimme $1,000,000” Tell that person you understood them. Then respond with your answer – even if the answer is no. The reverse is also true. If someone communicates “no” when they need to do something (i.e. take medicine), respond to what they communicate. Make sure they know that you heard them before you insist.
• Sabotage – Put obstacles in the way of the next step in a process and wait. For example, get ready to go but keep the door locked. Wait for the person to engage with you.
• Limit – If a person requests something, just give a little bit. Then wait for them to request the item or action again.
• Allow – Sometimes we know that something will go wrong. Allowing things to go wrong can entice someone to communicate. For example, no one put away the clean clothes. It’s time to get dressed. Don’t say anything or fix the problem. Just wait.
• Touch – Touching a person’s arm or hand might encourage communication.
• Use routines – Some people communicate more about familiar routines. Others communicate more when, out of the blue, a routine is disrupted.
• Expect – You can wait in anticipation that someone will communicate. Lean in, smile and wait.
• Choice – Everyone always talks about giving choices. This is because it is so essential to life satisfaction. People are happier when they get to choose.
• Wonder – Ask questions aloud that are open-ended. Ex: “I wonder why that happened?”

Lots of little chances to communicate can, over time, have a big effect. Frequent and intentional chances can help someone take a risk. Some people have had a lifetime of communication breakdowns. Not being understood. Not given choices. They tried to communicate but it hasn’t worked. We have to counter those failures with lots and lots of chances.